I have not published any stories in a very long time, WOAH! but I figured I should start again since I am thinking about doing a Youtube Channel. I still Don’t know what this is going to be about, maybe an update? I don’t know.
Man, God is so good!! I just have to let that out for you guys, even if you don’t believe in him, I just want everyone to know that God is good and even though I don’t understand the things he makes us go through, he never lets me down. I am never disappointed.
The last couple months I have been praying for me to gain some confidence with my body and natural beauty. I don’t know how long its been since I have struggled with this problem. I think 8th grade and as years went by I put more and more. I fell in love with makeup eventually but I fell out of love with myself and my natural beauty and I have wrote about this before. I was a little harsh on myself. Well now on top of this I gained weight. FROM EVERYWHERE! Pants, shirts, undergarments. THEY’RE ALL TO SMALL!
I started a diet and to be honest I am not even like that big but I am not use to being this thick and it got me in a really bad place. I constantly put myself down. I am so thankful for my husand though, he makes me feel like I am on top of the world. He admires my weight gain actually, ahahahahah! If you don’t get that, then your to young to be reading this. LOL
Anyways, I prayed about it, I cried to God about this problem.
I slowly stopped wearing makeup. As in I just wore foundation and mascara, then I started only wearing my wing eyeliner and mascara, now I only wear mascara. I feel comfortable enough to only wear mascara, sometimes a little eyeshadow but nothing crazy, you have no idea how happy I am for accepting myself. For loving myself as who I am and how I look, I have worked my ass off to get where I’m at and to love myself for what I am. I even go to work without any makeup and my face has actually gotten better.
I do wear makeup still and I will continue to buy a lot of makeup, but my goal was accomplished. I love myself both ways and I am perfectly happy with going out without makeup but my hair does have to be done. LOL. I have struggled so much for nothing. One thing that gained my confidence is how people would compliment my skin and eyes. I loved that. It made me feel so much better.
I thank my Lord, my husband, my mom, my mother-in-law, my father-in-law; They are just so amazing! I cant even explain how amazing my whole family is. I love them to death.
My weight is an ongoing battle and I am doing something about it this time and I am so motivated to get back on to how I was but the healthy way. I’ll actually be eating and exercising. It is going to be an amazing journey documented on my channel hopefully, if I feel comfortable with that..
I just want to let anyone who is struggling with any of this that no one is perfect, you just have to love yourself and view yourself as your own perfect person. I know I am not perfect to others, but I am perfect in my eyes. I look perfectly fine without makeup, even if you think I don’t. I am not going to let someone who I don’t even know or who is a temporary person in my life get to me. God made me perfect. I love myself and that has helped me love my husband even more, it has made me a better wife and human being.
I know I keep saying this, and maybe you don’t believe in god but that will not stop me from saying MY GOD IS SO GREAT! IT IS HE WHO GIVES ME STRENGTH!
He is the one I go to! Throughout the last few years I have tried to love him with all my heart, and I have tried and tried to be a perfect christian and some people have unmotivated me to not be, they made me think that just cause I go to church doesn’t mean I need to change! AND in matter of fact, IT DOES! I will live by the bible whether people like it or not and because I have given myself to the lord, i forgive easily, I love easily, I am kinder, and I am not angry.
I need to get that out there cause no one will stop me from spreading the word of the bible or my love for him. No one will tell me how I should be, THE BIBLE will tell me how I should be. I am at peace with many things I wasn’t before because of him. I thank my husband and his family for that also, but most of all I thank my Pastor and church family. LIFE IS GOOD, THE LORD IS GOOD! AND WE ARE ALL BEAUTIFUL!
That is all,
Thank you for reading!